Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize