omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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