I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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