He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
