i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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