Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
