Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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