he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
