apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
