I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
