I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
