i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
