Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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