Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
