He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
