Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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