I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
