Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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