i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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