I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
