am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
