That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i came on her dog
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
