so that wasnt chicken after all
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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