Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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