Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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