Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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