it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
