I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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