New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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