Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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