My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
