what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
