we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
