He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
