He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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