she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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