I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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