the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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