I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So much Jack, so little girl.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
