scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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