I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
