I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
