Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I need to align my fucking chakras
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
