Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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