I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
