She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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