the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
