Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
