And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
