help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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