I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
