he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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