I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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