it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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