There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
